So, school started again. It's my third year of college and I still don't know what I'm doing. I feel like everything around me keeps moving, but I'm just stuck. Slowly I'm moving, very slowly. Apparently, I'll be moving faster once my family moves. I'm scared. I haven't been scared like this in a long time. I try and I try to keep everything bottled up because I know half the people don't want to hear it, or maybe I don't want to admit it. If I just pretend that I'll be living here until the day comes that I eventually get married..that would be great. But since my dad got hurt at work everything has gone down the drain. Well, not so much him getting hurt but that bastard of an owner (that I work for) got rid of my dad's department now my family suffers. I hate the fact that the owner doesn't know what it's like to suffer financially, to be living paycheck to paycheck just barely getting by. It's embarassing. I'm the child I shouldn't have to be the one to deal with my parents financial difficulties...I should be more worried about school...but it hurts because I went to Florida instead of helping them. That grand could have been spent else where....
This shit makes me want to give up and go away.
It makes me feel like a bad person.
I hate not being stable right now...or having a stable house.
But I can't move out I don't have enough money of my own because I've been helping my parents...
Because that's what a good daughter does....
Yet I haven't gotten my boyfriend anything for his birthday...
I just want it all to get better.
shortnspunky323
Hakuna Matata!
So, I'm going to Florida with Brandon and his family! :] I am beyond excited! I think this will be a great experience and I love Disneyworld, sooooo yes! I'm just so excited! :] Now I have to save a lot of money, but that's okay...
:]
:]
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college Okay! So, let's see what's been going on lately? I think I finally figured out what I want to do with my life....MAYBE. I think I want to be a high school guidance counselor. I like talking to people and helping them, plus I like to plan things...which I know that guidance counselors--at least at my old high school--were the ones in charge of schedules and all of that stuff.
I did get accepted to ESU. So, that's good, but I expected to get accepted since I'm just a transfer student. I have so much stuff to do in order to finally get there though. I have to make some doctor appointments, make an appointment with the Communications advisor--which seems impossible because we have conflicting schedules at the moment--then there's the orientation in the summer. So, we'll see.
Apparently, Country Junction will start getting rebuilt in the next 2-3 weeks, which definitely makes me wanna wait it out there. Then I might get a better position when the store does finally open. Plus, the hours there are so awesome, and I love the people there. The only thing that was hanging over my head was the fact that I wasn't sure if they were actually going to rebuild. Not to mention how disorganized it is, but I guess that's just part of working out of tents and shacks.
I cannot wait until school's out! There's only 6 more classes left, about? I wish I worked harder this semester. I easily have B's in all my classes, but I wish I pushed for those A's, you know? I hate to sound like one of those obsessive students that aren't happy with a B when people are struggling to get C's, but that's just how I've always been. Maybe all the finals will bring up my grade? I hope so! :] It's all ending so soon. My second year of college...done..just like that, amazing! I cannot wait for summer!
I'm seriously hoping that I'll be able to go to Disney world with Brandon's family, it's all up to his mom and where she wants to go though...Hopefully whatever convincing Brandon and I can pull out of our sleeves will work. I also plan on working a lot this summer. Well, not A LOT A LOT, but enough so my paychecks will be more than enough for me, myself, and I. If--and hopefully not but IF--we don't go to Disneyworld, then hopefully Brandon and I at least get to go somewhere--even if it is the beach--just to get away for a little while, you know?
Well, I guess that's all. Until next time...
:]
I did get accepted to ESU. So, that's good, but I expected to get accepted since I'm just a transfer student. I have so much stuff to do in order to finally get there though. I have to make some doctor appointments, make an appointment with the Communications advisor--which seems impossible because we have conflicting schedules at the moment--then there's the orientation in the summer. So, we'll see.
Apparently, Country Junction will start getting rebuilt in the next 2-3 weeks, which definitely makes me wanna wait it out there. Then I might get a better position when the store does finally open. Plus, the hours there are so awesome, and I love the people there. The only thing that was hanging over my head was the fact that I wasn't sure if they were actually going to rebuild. Not to mention how disorganized it is, but I guess that's just part of working out of tents and shacks.
I cannot wait until school's out! There's only 6 more classes left, about? I wish I worked harder this semester. I easily have B's in all my classes, but I wish I pushed for those A's, you know? I hate to sound like one of those obsessive students that aren't happy with a B when people are struggling to get C's, but that's just how I've always been. Maybe all the finals will bring up my grade? I hope so! :] It's all ending so soon. My second year of college...done..just like that, amazing! I cannot wait for summer!
I'm seriously hoping that I'll be able to go to Disney world with Brandon's family, it's all up to his mom and where she wants to go though...Hopefully whatever convincing Brandon and I can pull out of our sleeves will work. I also plan on working a lot this summer. Well, not A LOT A LOT, but enough so my paychecks will be more than enough for me, myself, and I. If--and hopefully not but IF--we don't go to Disneyworld, then hopefully Brandon and I at least get to go somewhere--even if it is the beach--just to get away for a little while, you know?
Well, I guess that's all. Until next time...
:]
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Always Love, Hate will get you everytime.
I'm really proud of myself. I took a risk today, and I don't think I've done that in quite sometime. If any of you read this from time to time, you probably me complaining about friendships gone down the drain. I've decided to go out to lunch with a friend of mine that I haven't really talked to in a year and a half. She's the person that used to be my best friend pretty much all throughout high school. I know things aren't ever the same, but it feels nice to have someone, preferably a girl in my life that I can talk to when I'm pretty much surrounded by guys. We'll see what happens on Wednesday. All I know is that I'm excited and really proud. Really.
I know, it's so cheesy, I just needed to get it off my chest and not look like such a loser around my family and Brandon for doing something that others would see as so simple. It just makes me happy. How funny.
So while I pretty much ended off my day on a good note, the events before really angered me. I hate health insurance. I hate not having money and being able to be independent. One day, that's what I keep telling myself. One day.
I don't really know where my life is going. I keep getting pressured to choose a path, any path. I mean, I'm a really good kid. I think my parents lucked out with me. So I don't know what I want to do with my life, and sure I'm lazy at times, but I'm not out getting drunk, doing drugs, and I'm not pregnant. Sometimes I wish they realized that a little more, but what can you do.
I guess that's all I really have to say for now...
Oh yeah, I'm turning 20 on Sunday (Easter). Friday I'm going out with my boyfriend and the guys. It should be a good time. I hope some of the other people I asked will be able to come. That reminds me, I have to call Matt and check and see if he's able to go out. So I guess I should go and do so.
Well, incase I don't write in awhile, I hope everyone has a good Easter. Be safe and take care. :]
I know, it's so cheesy, I just needed to get it off my chest and not look like such a loser around my family and Brandon for doing something that others would see as so simple. It just makes me happy. How funny.
So while I pretty much ended off my day on a good note, the events before really angered me. I hate health insurance. I hate not having money and being able to be independent. One day, that's what I keep telling myself. One day.
I don't really know where my life is going. I keep getting pressured to choose a path, any path. I mean, I'm a really good kid. I think my parents lucked out with me. So I don't know what I want to do with my life, and sure I'm lazy at times, but I'm not out getting drunk, doing drugs, and I'm not pregnant. Sometimes I wish they realized that a little more, but what can you do.
I guess that's all I really have to say for now...
Oh yeah, I'm turning 20 on Sunday (Easter). Friday I'm going out with my boyfriend and the guys. It should be a good time. I hope some of the other people I asked will be able to come. That reminds me, I have to call Matt and check and see if he's able to go out. So I guess I should go and do so.
Well, incase I don't write in awhile, I hope everyone has a good Easter. Be safe and take care. :]
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